Anna Wintour can go suck a dick

I'm tempted not to tell you all where these photos came from. It would probably be more amusing to just throw them at you and let you ponder.





Does Jillian have a new line coming out? Are these propaganda shots from some avant-garde satanic cult looking to recruit? Centerfolds from Devil Worship Weekly?

No, none of those.

Before I reveal my sources, let's take a closer look:

The goat for the slaughter -
While the cross painted (auspiciously) in blood on the goat's forehead should be inverted, I still have to give props for the bloody images this photo inspires. Goat sacrifice. One more time, GOAT SACRIFICE. Please keep that in mind when I tell you where this spread is from.

The eyes -
The look on the girl's face in the second photo will seriously give me nightmares for a month. That's some fucked up shit, and I'm usually the scariest thing around here.



So where did these photos come from? Who has answered the call of the Dark Lord?

Why, French Vogue, of course.


Eat it, Anna Wintour

J-Devil

I'd say I am going to be America's Next Top Model...

But I wouldn't want to limit myself. I'm international, bitches.


Oh yes indeed, that magical day has arrived. Tonight, Tyra Banks will introduce the world to her evil cult's Class of '07, systematically destroy their self-esteems, and remake them in her image. I love that shit.


Although I'm not the first to say it, you may not have heard this particular theory yet. Brace yourself, here it comes:

America's Next Top Model is a picture perfect example of cult indoctrination practices.


"What? Jillian, that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard"


Hey, it's totally true. And don't call me stupid, you know I'll stab a bitch. There have been a number of esteemed papers published by actual science types on this very subject. If you're unfamiliar with the show, let's take a look at their set up:

- First off, the shows deals with the modeling industry which is notorious for fostering poor body images, unattainable physical ideals through the magic of Photoshop, major eating disorders, and drug addiction. So, basically hating yourself and lies. Much like Christian theology, it's an excellent place to start your cult.

- A handful of girls are picked out based on dubious criteria, segregated from society, and forced to live together in a secret compound.

- Cult members...uh, I mean contestants are allowed to speak to their loved ones on the phone, but only under the watchful eyes of the video cameras.


That's just the basics, there's more:

THE RELIGION
One might be tempted to say the "religion" of the show is fashion, but that's way off the mark. There's actually very little concern with fashion, aside from the obscure designers paraded past the girls on a regular basis and the fact that they tend to wear clothes. The religion is MODELING, as if modeling was some lofty goal akin to earning a Phd in astrophysics. While thinking people understand that modeling is a career that is mostly dependent on inborn physical traits, the cult tries to convince it's members that ANYONE can be a model if they would just do everything the evil cult leader tells them too. A baldfaced lie? Of course it is, but cults lie. That's why they're bad.

THE CARGO CULT TIE-IN

Allow me to school you briefly on the concept of cargo cults:
A cargo cult is a religious sect that requires, as part of it's main religious theory, that something will eventually be delivered to the religions adherents. This "cargo" will be supplied by the cult's deity in return for it's members devotion and compliance with cult doctrine. One shining example of a cargo cult is Christianity. And what are they waiting for, what is the divine cargo that the good little Christians will receive? The new messiah, of course.
The Catch-22 of cargo cults is that the eventual cargo arriving would render the religion itself obsolete. So, naturally, the cargo never arrives. Have the Christians gotten their new messiah yet? They keep predicting when this event will occur, and they keep being all sorts of wrong. No matter, they just adjust their theories and make lots of excuses for their errors and the cult persists in the same line of thinking (that lacks any sort of common sense, but alas).

THE CARGO
Well well well, the divine prize in America's Next Top Model is, of course, becoming America's next top model. The show would have you believe that these girls need only to beat out their immediate competition and they will be rocketed to incredible stardom, usurping any big names out there in the fashion world and dominating the industry. Granted, there is a concrete prize: a modeling contract with a drugstore make up brand and various commercial spots associated with the show. But for all the refrains of "High Fashion! High Fashion!" from crazy Tyra, where are all of these Top Models in the high fashion world?
The sad fact is that no one on this show has gone on to have any career as a high fashion model. They're not on runways, they aren't doing spreads in Vogue, and they don't have any associated ad campaigns with fashion labels. They do their term for Covergirl and they fade into obscurity. Yet, the show perseveres despite truly being a failure. What, haven't you been paying attention? That's exactly how cargo cults work.



THE CHARISMATIC CULT LEADER
No cult would be complete without the Charismatic Cult Leader: our very own Ms. Banks. As the focal point of the cult, the leader must be a true megalomaniac. She knows all, has seen it all, and is the only one who can tell you how to do it right.

First, the leader will tell you how you have it wrong. Your hair is bad, your clothes look like they came from the damn mall, you need to lose a few pounds, you walk funny, you look ugly in your pictures. This is especially rough for these girls to hear; these girls are so tall and pretty that they've spent their lives having people tell them nothing but how beautiful they are and how they should totally be models. To come into the arena they've dreamed about for years and be told they're hopelessly inadequate is absolutely crushing.

But, there's hope! All of their flaws can be fixed! And how is that possible? By doing everything the cult leader says. They get invariably drastic makeovers so they no longer look like themselves, they change their personal style, they move differently, and they are constantly impressed upon to live and breathe the transformation. ONE OF US, ONE OF US!! The girls that change themselves the most are the ones who receive the most positive feedback from the judging panel. And on that note...

THE JUDGING PANEL
Seriously, they don't even try to hide the cult overtones with this crap. Stand front and center before a collection of people who are better than you so they can tell you what you've done wrong. It's almost unheard of that a contestant will go before the judging panel and not receive any negative criticism. The photos are amazing, the girl is fantastic in person, and she's won every challenge in the competition....they'll find something bad to say anyway. Can't let these girls think they can't benefit from the cult's teachings, so this practice reinforces their dependence on Tyra and the show.



REASONS WHY TYRA BANKS IS SUPER EVIL

1.) Supposedly, these girls are all real tight with Tyra. On camera, she likes to play that she's everyone's bestest buddy and she really CARES about these young women. Uh huh. Every time Tyra appears, the girls immediately start shrieking and freaking out and shouting "Oh my God! It's Tyra! Tyra, Tyra, Tyra!". Do you do that every time you see your bestest buddy, or say, someone who has given you a leg up in your chosen career? Hell, no. No one acts that way, Tyra makes them do it. Because she's crazy.

2.) God forbid someone doesn't behave like a kicked dog, Tyra will scream her giant forehead off at them. Cult members are regularly berated for acting too friendly with the "higher ups": fashion designers, photographers, or the collection of obscure wierdos that make up Tyra's entourage. What is too friendly? Making polite jokes or speaking to them as though they were equals. Yes, they really do this.

3.) Tyra keeps an entourage of overly made up eunuchs who are all forced to answer to the name "Jay" (ex. Miss Jay and Jay Manuel). That is so bizarre it could only be in the context of a religious movement.

4.) The cult members must do everything that they are told. Case in point: Jay Manuel tells one model that she should be practicing her poses before her photo shoot, and the model replies (politely) that she's confident she's had enough practice. The girl does a fantastic job, takes great photos that are lauded by the judging panel. Regardless, the girl is still yelled at by Tyra for not having followed Jay's orders, even though they were an unnecessary demand. Because you do what you're told and don't think for yourself, automatons!


But the biggest issue is....

THEY TORTURE THESE GIRLS
-They make a point of casting based on personality as much as looks. Why do you think there are a few supremely bitchy girls with no social skills on every season? With their terrible attitudes, they would never stand a chance in an industry already oversaturated with tall skinny beautiful girls that keep their damn mouths shut. Yet they get put on the show anyway because they make for good drama. All these silly girls are forced to live together in close quarters and the mean girls make it unpleasant for everyone.

-The girls barely sleep. Not because they want to spend all their time partying; the show maintains an unreasonable schedule of events intending to make the contestants sleep deprived. You're far more likely to get sick if you are stressed and sleep-deprived, and they producers love when the girls get sick. Because they get to baby them and prove how kind they are? HELL NO. There hasn't been a season yet where some poor girl wasn't screamed at by Tyra and her minions for having the audacity to complain about illness. The girls are told that sick isn't an option, and they'll never survive in the business if they don't suck it up and get to work. Maybe for a little sniffle, but these girls are regularly taken away in ambulances for their various maladies.

-They speak and act in contradictions. All of you girls are living together, you should be acting like sisters! Now we're going to pit you all against eachother in various "challenges" and give fanatastic prizes to the winner. The winner also gets to choose a friend or two to enjoy the prize, so that the girls are forced into creating cliques amongst themselves and fostering jealously amongst the other contestants. Tyra and her minions all care about you, we're your good loving friends! Ha, just don't treat us like we're your friends or talk to us as you would to your friends or ever consider doing anything other than exactly what we tell you to. That's not how friends behave.
This seems rather transparent, but treating people this way over a period of time will eventually drive someone crazy. It creates paranoia and stress because the girls never know what kind of response they'll get due to the constant inconsistency of the cult's leadership. It also keeps the cult members from making their own decisions, as they are forced to constantly query the cult leaders for whatever the "right" answer or position will be that day. SNEAKY!



Well, that's my lunatic tirade for the day. I'll be hosting a party of my favorite ladies and homos this evening for the event. It starts at 7:00pm CST, and we'll be enjoying cheese, wine and the debasement of pretty girls. Make sure you don't miss it! If you do, I'm going to tell Tyra and don't think she won't show up at your place primed and ready for Chinese water torture.



You better work it girl,
Jillian

Hey Wonderwoman, take off your shirt!

What was Jillian doing at 10:30 last night?

A.) Reading to the blind

B.) Throwing one of my regular weekday cocktail parties

C.) Stalking Lynda Carter in an alley under the el tracks




This story starts a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away...

Way back when I was freshman in college, I lived in a dorm at Loyola. Loyola is run by alarmist Catholic wackadoos, so the freshman dorms were designed as impenetrable fortresses to protect the virtue of the wee little freshman babies freshly imported from affluent suburbs from any evildoers lurking the streets of Roger's Park. And by 'evildoers', they meant black people (hey don't get pissed at me, they's the haters).

My dorm had several levels of security, the most consistent being the security desk by the dorm entrance. Of course, I didn't for a moment consider the possibility of actually following the dorm rules and regs, so I devised a plan to get in good with the security staff. Turned out, that wasn't too hard as most of the security was damn crazy and we all know how much crazy people enjoy me.

Dave calls me "The Patron Saint of Crackheads" [That's pretty little David in the picture]

One my first day at the dorms on my mission of good will, I met one regular security staffer. Dude (forgive me for not remembering his name, I drink) was late 30's, black, and pretty darn unhinged. I said hello and he immediately SHOUTS at me "HEY! YOU KNOW WHO YOU LOOK LIKE?! LYNDA CARTER!!" I was at the tender age of 17, so naturally I didn't know anything about anything - much less who the hell Lynda Carter was. He goes on: "YOU KNOW! WONDERWOMAN!" I thought this was a pretty rad assessment, so I thanked Dude and introduced myself.

The introduction was obviously a wasted effort since, for the remainder of the year I lived in that dorm, he would scream "WONDERWOMAN!" or "LYNDA CARTER!" at the top of his lungs every time he would see me. This seems charming and harmless, but it proved awkward to explain the situation to the surprised and puzzled crowd every time this nutball would pull this crap. At some point I mentioned this story to my friend Steve, which brings us to the events of last night...

LAST NIGHT

Steve calls me up as I'm chilling on the couch, enjoying a glass of spirited italian white and taking in some Family Guy. I had had a long day of meetings with vegan raw food afficionados (yes, really) and preparing marketing solutions, but I just couldn't pass up the opportunity when Steve asked if I'd like to join him to see Lynda Carter do her cabaret act at a theater in Lincoln Park. He also mentioned that he thought of me because of the crazy story I had recounted to him so long ago.

I rushed to sass myself up for the event, opting for a simple black dress in a crisp microfiber. I added an extra wide turquoise belt with patent accents as a fashionable homage to the superhero we were planning to see. [I tried to get Steve to wear his famous padded Superman costume, but he pussied out. PUNK!]. Steve arrived and we headed out. The game was afoot!

I know I say this often, but I really am an asshole. Witness: We arrived at the theater, acquired some cocktails, and handed our tickets to the first usher. She was pleasant and chatty, making small talk with the patrons as they were entering. So I asked her if Lynda Carter planned to take her shirt off.

The performance was lovely, even if the material was a bit stale. At 27 years, I've heard everyone the world over do the jazz standards she was working. '50 Ways to Leave Your Lover' was an unexpected and engaging addition to the program and her take on 'Cry Me a River' was pitch perfect. Her signature tune is 'Always' but it was pretty flat. Who gives a fuck though? Wonderwoman could have been up there flinging feces at the crowd and speaking ill of our mothers, and everyone would have loved it. She's a fucking superhero, bitches, she can do whatever she wants.

The show wraps up, and Steve and I make our exit. The car was parked behind the building in the alley and Steve lamented that he had a 8x10 glossy of Wonderwoman and wouldn't it be cool if she would sign it? Steve also claims that he just so happens to have this picture and it was a gift from some unnamed person. I say: what a load of hooey! Steve, you totally got that off ebay and you sleep with it under your pillow every night, don't lie. Remember: I can smell your fear.

Conveniently, as we were sitting in Steve's vehicle (the vehicle is named 'Ironman', it's stenciled across the hood), the keyboard player from the band wandered past. We quickly formed a plan. I hailed the keyboard player from the car window and complimented his performance. He saw me and smiled, then saw Steve and nearly climbed into the car with us (just a little bit gay, ya think). We acted like we gave a shit about where he usually plays and then hit him up for the big money: where is Wonderwoman and how can we get her to sign Steve's picture. He gave us some bull about how she has guests in town and won't be signing anything tonight. Steve must have been making lewd gestures to the guy behind my back, because then he pointed out the stage door and said we could catch her coming out.

So what was I doing at 10:30 last night? Stalking Lynda Carter in an alley under the el tracks. We hung out for ten minutes or so, brainstorming ways to overpower her chaffeur and sneak into her car, effectively ambushing her and risking the wrath of her golden lasso. Finally she came out with her entourage and immediately got into her car. A few rabid fans manged to pass their merchandise for her to sign into the car via her manager, but Steve was left disappointed in a cloud of exhaust as her car pulled away. Oh Lynda, don't make me do it. Fuck, I can't help myself.


An Open Letter to Lynda Carter


Dear Lyndaboo,

We've been tight for quite some time but, as your good friend, I have to say a few things that you need to hear. We're not back in the early 80's anymore, when I used to stunt double for you and act as your personal decoy. I mentioned to a few people that I was catching your act last night, and the response was overwhelmingly "Who?" You keep that in mind, honey: Wonderwoman was done long ago. And television actors were never allowed to pull the diva crap.

I won't waste time by bashing your ratty looking extensions, but I will say it's obvious you've gotten a little too big for your britches. Considering the sausage casing you were wearing as a skirt last night, you'll soon be too big for all of your apparel. My friend and I were hanging out by the stage door after the show, just wanting to say hey. You came out, TOTALLY ACTED LIKE YOU DIDN'T KNOW ME AT ALL, condescended to sign a few autographs, and took off. Now let's be real clear here: there wasn't some giant crowd out there, all squealing for your attention. It was 6 people, tops. Yes, that's right, 6 motherfucking people and you couldn't find the time to sign my buddy's picture.

All I can say is that I hope you were rushing off to either a proper tailor (it defeats the purpose if you can actually see the control top granny panties through your clothes) or a vocal lesson. Everyone thought it was sweet that you sang "Always" for your husband, but you butchered that shit. Your tone-deaf renditions of Smiths tunes is the reason I ended our illegal gay marriage in the first place, so you better knock it off with the serenades if you want to hold on to this relationship. Watch it with the attitude, sister; arrogant and washed-up are not a good combination. And for chrissakes, put on some moisturizer.

He'll never love you like I love you,
Jillian

You're going to change, right?

I know you've all been on the edge of your seats, bursting at the seems, and eager little beavers for my opinions on the events of last week. You don't have to tell me: you can't even leave your homes without some direction from me (and that's probably wise). With the drastic weather change over the last few days, the situation has become particularly dire and I hate to let my adherents down. Fret not, my pretty little ponies. Salvation is here!

I am speaking of fall fashion, of course.


New York Fashion Week wrapped up a few days ago, and I have culled the highlights from the sea of stupid ass garbage that was appearing on the runways. As we (the royal "we") are wont to do here at Evil HQ, I present to you a list! No, two lists! The best and the worst, get your notebooks ready...

BEST FALL TRENDS 2007

1.) Dresses

Yes, all the designers are still doing dresses like they've been at since the Spring collections. Fall is featuring short dresses again, but in heavier knits with longer sleeves. A big trend also is layering long sleeved shirts under more summery weight dresses, and it's a good way to transition from your summer wardrobe. It's about layering, and layering is your Chicago-weather friend.
HOW TO FUCK THIS UP: Wearing pants under your dress. No. I repeat: NO. Leggings are solid, but jeans or anything remotely pant-like is way way off. Also, wearing summer fabrics and patterns into winter is bad. Light weight cotton poplin and linen are summer only, and bright flower patterns or anything that looks at home on the beach won't do. So don't do it.

2.) Gray

As usual, I'm well ahead of the trends. I've been pushing gray since the beginning of the summer, and now all of the designers are hot for it. They must read my blog too. Gray is a supremely versatile neutral, and it looks fantastic with bright colors. Instead of black tights, do charcoal gray tights. Instead of a black or tan overcoat, opt for gray wool. Gray is also showing up on a lot of shoes; it looks especially fly in suede.

3.) Yellow

Fuck yeah!! As my devotees know, yellow is my favorite color. It's also a color that is widely hated, unjustly, by many. Go figure. I've been seeing yellow cropping up in the last few seasons, mostly in accessories. A handbag or some plastic bangles in the shade are good for the more color shy of you. It's great with bright red, white, gray, and even tan and khaki shades. For the ballsy, just go nuts and hook yourself up with some fly yellow apparel. You're here, you're queer, and you're not going anywhere!
PALE FOLKS: choose lemon or school bus yellow, and run screaming away from butter and mustard.
DARKER SKIN: bright true yellow may work for you, but if you're iffy, try a deeper gold shade or something in a sherbet pastel (not too pale, but not quite a bright).

4.) Cinched waists and strong shoulders

The shapeless sacks from the summer have gone the way of the warm weather, my friends, and a more structured sillouette is on the menu for fall and winter. Fitted jackets are everywhere; if you have coats that are loose on you, take them to the tailor and have them altered to fit you well - especially through the waist. Belted trenches are huge, and belts in general were seen on everything. The shoulders are more defined in the new styles, without crossing the line into giant 80's shoulder pad sillyness.
HOW TO DO THE NEW BELT: Bitches, please stop throwing a random belt on over t-shirts so you look weird and awkward. Loose blouses and oversize sweaters: cinch at the waist with a thick belt and blouse your top a bit (I said A BIT) over the belt. A skinny belt over a buttoned cardigan is adorable on nearly everyone. Belted tops work best with skirts, and Satan forbid if I see someone wearing a belt over a shirt with belt loops visible on her pants. If you plan to keep it on, throw a belt on over a buttoned jacket that's well-fitted. Most dresses work well also; if you're skittish about trying this (for seriously peeps, belts were EVERYWHERE on EVERYTHING), throw a thick bright colored one over your little black dress for evening. Way cute and all sorts of fashionable.

5.) Tights

If you're fortunate enough to enjoy the abomination that is winter in Chicago, then you know how necessary tights are. Textures, colors, and everything in between. What wasn't there: black tights. Last fall, everything was fucking black tights. This year, replace all of your black tights with gray tights. Still matches nearly everything, but you look much cooler. I know you: you need all the help you can get.
I have always had mad love for colored tights, and super duper bright is what the designers are pushing. I dig it and do it, but I'm a revolutionary who doesn't mind getting made fun of (by homeless people) for my sartorial stunts. Plus, bright colored tights are for fun and not for work. For a more demure option, pick up some eggplant, chocolate brown, deep blue (not navy - navy is barf), gray and burgundy. Forest green looks especially rad; even the anti-fashion gang people in my 'hood give me a shout out when I have mine on. Or maybe they just want to sell me some rocks.

6.) Jewelry and handbags

Fuck the designers, I'll tell you what's what. Their take is super huge monster sacks that could easily fit a 5 year old child. I assume, since you have internet at your disposal, that you aren't bag ladies - so don't carry out a giant bag lady bag. That shit just looks sloppy.
JILLIAN'S TREND
Go for interest. That extremely general, but take a quick gander at your hand bag. Is it solid colored? Probably a neutral color? Plain and boring? Get rid of it. Pick up something in a bright color; true red goes with a lot more than you would think. Patterns are nice, texture is a buzz word for the season. If you just can't part with black or brown, switch to something in a shiny patent leather. You'll thank me when people stop calling you a dork behind your back.

Jewelry was pretty sparse on the runways, so I'll just tell you what will not be okay:
- a bunch of necklaces in varying lengths
- the Sicilian horns - massively played out.
- nut beads and shells - over, over, over!
- crucifixes - good for keeping vampires and me away, but that's about it
JILLIAN'S TREND
I like long necklaces: a single interesting necklace, or a few of the same length and a similar feel. I just came upon a long gold rope chain with a green pingpong ball sized plastic apple hanging off it; the apple has a single leaf in gold, covered with clear rhinestones. It is, undoubtedly, the jam. I was rocking it the other day with my gold plated maple leaf pendant on a gold chain the same length (and my green galoshes, cuz that's how I roll) to much aplomb.
Bangles are still good, but lean toward one large rather than a mess of skinny ones. Plastic and notably lucite are great.


WORST FALL TRENDS 2007

1.) Shorts

Or rather, MOTHERFUCKING SHORTS. For reals, people? For cold weather? I am no proponent of shorts for any season, but Fall and Winter are just ridiculously impractical. Short shorts only look decent on the very tall and very slim. If that doesn't sound like you, guess what? You look like thick-thighed crap in your shorts. And please don't accuse me of hating on thickness in any respect, I'm plenty thick myself. I just have this ridiculous idea that you should dress to flatter what you've got rather than just wearing any old thing you found in the main display at Old Navy (or losing weight, of course). For all seasons, if you want to show your gams, put on a skirt. You are a girl (or a tranny) after all, you won't be shocking anyone and it's far more flattering.

2.) Puff sleeves

As of the last time I checked, I'm not five years old. Yes, I wear my hair in pigtails from time to time, I have a penchant for funny socks, and I just can't seem to get silly galoshes out of my system. But yet, I still look like an adult. The short puff sleeves that designers are flaunting this year are downright infantilizing. If you are over 15, you cannot do this. If you want to throw caution to the wind against my advice, you best make sure you have extremely slim upper arms. You'll look ridiculous still, but at least it won't be squeezing arm flab (hey, I have it, whatever).

3.) Neckties

Um, is Avril in the house? Cuz I left my machete at home. Surprisingly, I saw this with a lot of lines this season. It's fucked, just say no.



What the hell, how about a 3rd list while I'm on a roll....

THINGS YOU NEED TO PACK AWAY PROMPTLY

1.) The babydoll shirts

Is it a dress? Is it a shirt? Is it completely unflattering and looks like maternity wear? If you can't cinch it reasonably with a cute belt at the waist, it's gots to go. Shapeless is out, and you need at least a DD cup for a babydoll top with an empire waist to flatter you rather than just make you look fat. Yes, really.

2.) Boot cut pants or jeans

The flare at the bottom, even if it's subtle, looks very dated. If you're still sporting actual bellbottoms, I'm just going to slap you. STRAIGHT LEG! Skinny jeans and pants, wide leg, or anything in the middle: lay the pants down flat, and they shouldn't taper in or out between the knee and the ankle.

3.) Super low rise pants

Honey, didn't you get the memo? That shit is done, not that it was a fantastic idea in the first place. Can you say Muffin Top? Cuz I can, and I'm talking about you.

4.) Ugly shoes

This includes: athletic shoes that are good for actual athletics, Ugg and fake Ugg boots (hello 2001! Why won't you die?), and flats on most people. Yes, some folks can wear flats and they look great. These are people who have long slim legs, SMALL NARROW FEET, and enough definition between ankle and calf that people aren't shouting "Cankles!" out of their car windows. Please note, that doesn't describe most people. I'm above average in height and I have a pretty sexy pair of legs - yet flat shoes with a skirt on me makes me look short and dumpy. I'm a supermodel, so you can just imagine how you would look. You want comfortable shoes? Get flat, knee high boots. Those suit nearly everyone.





I hope I managed to set you all on the righteous path for Fall fashion. Please feel free to direct any follow up queries to me; I'll get together with the homeless in the alley and we'll come up with a solid solution for any of your sartorial worries. Help me help you....to not look like such a fucking douchebag. That really is the best reward.


You still won't look as good as me,
J-Illin'

Back by popular demand

Fuckin' a, people. I know you all love and adore me (who wouldn't? I'm adorable), but there are only so many hours in the day. I'm busy with some projects right now, but I'll try to be more regular about posting. I wouldn't want all of my clients going somewhere else for their evil needs...


Less scurvy, more curvy,
Jillian