Well damn, this thing is still here? Good thing I'm still awesome.

I know, I know, I KNOW. It's been a while.

"Why so long, Jillian? Don't you care about your faithful fans?"

No, I don't care. And I don't owe you an explanation. HOWEVER, seeing as I am a supremely generous and kind individual, I will share a little insight.


THE EVOLUTION OF THE BLOG, ahem, MEME

May I begin by saying it's verging on douchy to use the term 'meme', although the meaning suits my purpose in this case. It is definitely douchy to use the term 'douchy' or any of its incarnations. Now that were all super fucking cool and current, let me go on.
I started this blog because I am hopelessly narcissistic and I have no doubt that the world at large only needed the opportunity the hang on my every word. I also have a thing or two to say that may approach intelligent discourse and ORIGINAL THOUGHT. Also, I'm funny and the things I like are much cooler than the things you like. Basically, I have a lot to offer and, being supremely generous (see above), I shared.

I kept on with this little page, sharing my message of anti-lameness mostly to amuse myself. Oh, you're surprised? It's all about me and it will always be about me. If this is news, you haven't read my blog.
After a while, Blogging was all the rage. Everyone was doing it, lameness benchmarks like the Today Show started talking about how everyone's doing it, and then the various backlash articles started about how ridiculously self-indulgent and unnneccessary it all is, a product of the narcissistic/exhibitionist generation whatever.
Now, I admit that I didn't invent blogging (I just perfected it, ha!) but I was getting sick of the oversaturation of sub-standard blogging. Most people are stupid and boring and shouldn't be sharing their opinions. Elitist? YES and so what. I've read that 80% of people believe they are above average intelligence. Even worse, most people I mention that statistic to don't see the logical failing of it. Frightening. Anyhoo, what I'm saying is that the market became full of garbage and I got bored of it.
And now I'm bored from that explanation.

[DIGRESSION ON THE DUMBASS TODAY SHOW

The Today Show is so goddamn stupid. There really isn't any other way to put it. Kathie Lee Gifford is on it - I don't really need to say more. But I will. No, I do not typically watch this show, it's probably been ten years since I gave it any regard. I've been sick all week and understandably sedentary and brain-addled, leading to my viewing of the show this morning.

Brace yourself, because what I'm about to write will make you scratch your eyes out. Braced? Good, here goes:
There was a segment on the show today featuring not one but TWO DOCTORS. The doctors were there to discuss how you can tell the difference between....(deep breath)....having the flu and having a heart attack! REALLY. Really really really, no joke, this is what they were talking about. Do you know how to tell the difference between the two?
OF COURSE YOU DO! WHO WOULD FUCKING CONFUSE HAVING THE FLU WITH IMPENDING CARDIAC ARREST?!?!? Oh yes, the braintrusts that watch the Today Show must have this problem all the time. Good thing Kathie Lee is there to help.]


So, I explained why I stopped, but why am I starting again? To put it quickly and simply, my sister (the indefatigable Bridget) bothered my ass until I did. She also feeds my ego by telling me about others who have encountered my blog and 'GUSHED' about its greatness. That always works.

IT'S A FRESH NEW YEAR, LET'S HAVE SOME BLOG GUIDELINES AND GENERAL NOTES

1.) Leave comments. I like it, The dark lord likes it, and it will result in feeding orphans in Africa. Of course, by 'orphans in Africa', I mean 'my ego'.

2.) Sure, you may disagree with me from time to time. Go nuts. But please be forwarned that, should you choose to share your discontent with me in a less than deferential fashion, I will subject you to public scorn. It's not that I can't take criticism, I just don't want to hear you bitch.

3.) If you are a screenwriter or know someone who is a screenwriter, let me know STAT. We all know the, um, ISSUES a certain E. Murphy has been having in recent years and the only way to save this national cinematic treasure is to get The Golden Child II in production as soon as possible. I can write (obviously) but I don't know the first thing about scripting. No, this is not a joke.

4.) If you have questions for me, the glorious J. T. Devil, or ideas for blog topics or something else of value to share, email me at jillianthedevil@hotmail.com.
THINGS THAT ARE NOT OF VALUE: links to your websites, any sort of advertisement, telling me I'm 'not all that'. Of course I am, so don't mess.


In any case, I'm back. Go slaughter a goat in thanks.

Jillian the Devil